House Rules

My husband is one of the most creative thinkers I know. He’s willing to try things that might not work out exactly as planned. He can say, “I don’t know, but I’ll find out.” He doesn’t always have to be right. He learns from his mistakes, and he can let someone else make mistakes, too, if they won’t be too costly or damaging and if there’s something to be learned in the process. I’ve been in business with Bill for almost 25 years, and we’ve made some colossal mistakes, but it’s always been fun working with him.

It’s also fun to play Scrabble with him. Like many families, we play “House Rules”: Instead of challenges, we let a player ask their opponent to look up a word in the Official Scrabble Players Dictionary. If it’s in there, you can play it. If not, well, no. And while they’re looking something up, your opponent can see other words on the page. Bill has a diabolical way of breaking my concentration by spelling aloud a new word from elsewhere on the page.

When we started playing, Bill wasn’t a particularly good speller but I thought I was. We went to House Rules so we would both learn more words, and we have. But I’ve learned a bigger lesson.


Because I think I know how many words are “supposed” to be spelled, I overlook a lot of acceptable variants. Bill, on the other hand, doesn’t assume the outcome before he plays his hand. He’ll ask me to look up a spelling that can’t possibly be “right,” and there it is. He racks up a lot of points while I’m laughing at his so-called mistakes.

Our House Rules give us permission to fail in a way that helps us learn and grow. We try to carry that philosophy over into business, volunteer work, cooking, gardening, recreation, and other aspects of our lives. We’ve learned there are many acceptable answers to almost any question. If you rearrange the letters, you just might find one.